Interactive Akatsuki Summer Camp
by Lady Kunai
Summary: Running a summer camp isn't easy, which is why Kaz hired the Akatsuki for help. But can they deal with a bunch of crazy kids and teens AND teach classes without killing everyone? And will Zetsu ever find his missing comrades? WARNING: CRACKAPALOOZA!
1. SURPRISE!

**Teh Author's Note! **Wahaha, Shiny new story on a shiny new account. :3 So, this is your author "Kaz" speaking! Time for the warnings and disclaimers!

**WARNING!** Contains much, much CRACK, OCCness, and overall stupidity. NON-YAOI! You've been warned.

**DISCLAIMER!** Naruto, it's characters, and it's epic concept do not belong to me. If I did, Deidara would have beat Sasuke's ass to tiny, insignificant, emo little shreds. All I own are a few OCs, and not even all of them at that.

* * *

**Chapter 1: "SURPRISE!!"**

"Art is fleeting, yeah!"

"Annoying brat! Everyone knows that beauty lies in _everlasting_ works."

Cue the group sigh. It was once again another boring morning at the Akatsuki base, and our two favorite artists were once again having a heated argument over whose art was better. Now, one would think that a group of S-Ranked criminals would have _something_ to do, but no, not our lovable...I mean, _evil_ organization.

And so, the quarrel carried on. It promised to be another annoying, long, never ending one until...

**BZZZZZPSHOOBOOOMBLAAAHFHZQXDG...ping**

And everybody died.

...Just kidding.

The obnoxiously loud alarm rang through out the whole base; from the living room, to the dining room, to the kitchen, and even into Itachi's private bathroom that this author is not supposed to know about, thus causing annoyance, hilarious mishaps, and general mayhem in the Akatsuki.

Let's watch!

* * *

There was a cry of, "We're being robbed!!" which was followed by a crashing thud and raucous laughter. From beneath an unhealthily huge mass of pillows, blankets, and the occasional therapeutic, massage pillow, an unruly shock of raven hair popped up. Beady green eyes - the kind that could judge the initial value on any object in a matter of seconds - narrowed suspiciously. Two stitched together arms emerged from the comfortable heap and were positioned to attack. Kakuzu stood ready - if not blindly - to kill anyone who dared rob him. That is, until Hidan decided to speak up.

"Hah! You fucking pansy!" the Jashinist chortled, smoothing back his snow white hair with a comb. Growling, Kakuzu retreated into his pile of comfy objects, trying vainly to reclaim his lost sleep. He would have succeeded too, if not for...

**CRAAAACK**

Kakuzu once again popped his head out of the blanket-pillow-fort and blinked, curious as to why his partner - usually so loud - had abruptly stopped laughing. Bad idea.

Hidan held up his broken mirror - the glass cracked into dozens of irreplaceable pieces by the deafening boom of the alarm - and blinked. His violet eyes were the size of saucers, and he stood in shocked silence. But the blissful silence only lasted a moment, and before Kakuzu could even slip in one snide remark...

"NOOOOOO!! FUCK MY LIFE!! MY FAVORITE MIRROR, GOOOONE!! I'LL KILL THE MOTHER FUCKING BITCH WHO DID THIS TO MEEEEEE!!" came the banshee-like scream, even louder than the alarm. Growling, and knowing that all chances of recovering his sleep were destroyed, Kakuzu snatched up his hitai-ate and prepared to get ready and face the day - which promised to be a terrible one. Oh, if only he knew...

"C'mon shit-eater. We're going to see who the hell is responsible for all this shit," his partner raged, grabbing the unfortunate treasurer's arm and dragging him out of his room with such force that his arm nearly came un-stitched.

* * *

Sprawled on top of his bed, with the bright orange sheets tangled around his body, a certain Good Boy slept soundly, clutching his stuffed penguin to his chest. But all hopes of saving Princess Penguin from Deidara-Bowser were lost as the deafening boom of the alarm burst his dream bubble.

"Meeeerfugglewooooorf," Tobi snorted, cracking one sleep-encrusted eye open. Licking his lips absently, he rolled himself off the comfortable marshmallow-quality mattress and hit the floor with a dull _thud_. Crawling towards the door sluggishly, he snatched up his swirled masked and stuck it on top of his head sleepily (not realizing that it was on the wrong way, thus exposing his face). Using the knob for support, Tobi hoisted himself up and managed to open the door. Falling back down, he crawled his way down the hall - both to find the source of the noise, and to steal Deidara's coffee.

"Tobi...Is _not _a good boy in the morning..."

* * *

"Hn," the eldest Uchiha said to himself. Snores filled the background - coming from Kisame, of course - causing the Uchiha to mutter 'Hn' again. He was currently wearing his pajamas (which this author was prohibited from describing, lest she be Mangekyo Sharingan'd) and hadn't had the time to smooth down his long hair into something presentable. Sending a glare at the sleeping fish-man-thing, Itachi held the case of fish flakes in his slender fingers and had to work to resist crushing the small bottle in his annoyance. Facing the massive aquarium, the Uchiha carelessly dumped a handful of the smelly flakes into the huge tank. Scrunching his nose in distaste, Itachi idly watched a massive piranha come out of a kelp bush and ravage the meat-flavored flakes, wondering why in Hell he was even doing this. Until the alarm started ringing.

Of course, Itachi wasn't surprised by such a thing; having the Duck-Butt for a younger brother had made him immune to such disturbances. However, the poor fish wasn't prepared. It opened its fanged little mouth until it was big enough to swallow Itachi's hand whole. A few air bubbles escaped it, almost in a scream of terror. There was a pause, and then the fish floated up to the top of the tank on its side, dead. Itachi stared at the tank for a few moments in silence, relieved that the stupid thing was finally dead. Kisame may have insisted that being bitten and having bits of your flesh torn off was a sign of affection, but the Uchiha hated that stupid thing. However, before he could have an inner self party, there was a loud snore, followed by some sniffling, and then a yawn.

Kisame was awake. And the fish was dead. His _favorite _fish was dead. Oh crap.

Itachi stood in a perfect stance of emotionless-ness, thinking of a plan. He was an Uchiha after all; there must be something he could do. But there was a shuffling noise, meaning that Kisame was coming over to check his damned fish. Oh crap. Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap.

"'Morning Itachi," Kisame muttered, idly running his fingers through his sapphire hair. Itachi - freaking out on the inside; for what could be worse than the awakened wrath of an angry fish-man? - stood in stony silence and nodded curtly. Kisame lumbered over to the massive tank and peered in, looking for his prized piranha.

"Oi, where's Veronica? She hiding again?" he questioned, squinting into the empty tank. It seemed that he was not fully awake yet, and didn't notice the massive dead thing floating at the top of the aquarium. Maybe Itachi was safe after - Wait! Kisame froze, and his fishy little eyes widened with shock and realization. Turning his head slowly - Itachi was suddenly reminded of the Exorcist girl - the blue man glared at his partner.

"Murderer!" he cried, jabbing an accusing finger at the raven-haired male, "So, the entire Uchiha clan wasn't enough, eh? You had to get Veronica too, huh? _Murderer!!_"

"Kisame, I -"

"I will not have it! All this time you were actually pretending to like her, eh? But you were secretly planning to do her in all this time!! My God, I should have seen it coming!!"

"Listen you fool. The base's alarm went off, stunning the wretched thing. And I never pretended to like that nasty creature. It deserves its fate," Itachi said coldly, sending his patented glare to both the fish-man and the dead creature. He reached out and grabbed his partner's shirt, dragging the stunned unfortunate out of the room and into the Akatsuki gathering hall. Something was up, and dead fish or no dead fish, Itachi was going to find out.

* * *

In the Main Hall of Super Secret Gatherings, there was much muttering, grumblings, and the usual swears from Hidan. But everyone fell silent as the Leader came in, still in his pajamas and holding up a cup of steaming coffee. Before everyone could start yelling and complaining, he sent them all a terrifying glare, silencing them all for at least the next five minutes. Even the cheery bells on Pein's bunny slippers were quieted.

"So, I can see you all heard the alarm," he started seriously. There were a few nods, many grumbles, and a snort coming from Deidara (who held Sasori's arm from when he had pulled it off the puppet in his surprise).

"Good. Now, you're all probably wondering why Konan and I set it off, yes?" he asked, looking at all their tired and annoyed faces. There were more nods, but before he could further explain the cause of the booming wake-up call, a certain Good Boy came crawling into the room.

"Meeeh. I neeeed...Sleeep," Tobi mumbled, looking a lot like that girl from the Grudge as he crawled his way to Pein. Using Konan's arm for support, he stood, wobbled for a moment, and snatched Pein's steaming coffee mug (It read, 'World's Best Leader Of An Evil Organization!'). Shuffling towards Deidara, he downed the black liquid in one gulp, and stared at the leader blearily. There was a silence, until Pein decided to ignore the strange happening and went on.

"Yes...Well, we seem to have a problem."

"We're out of money?" Kakuzu demanded. Sighing, Pein shook his head.

"No. I doubt that would ever happen with you here," he paused so that Kakuzu could allow himself a smug little smirk, "What happened is worse. This morning, I woke up and..."

He paused again for dramatic effect.

"It seems that a rift in the space-time continuum has formed in my room. Actually, right over my bed."

He allowed another pause, both for dramatic effect and to let the news sink in.

"Is...That even physically possible, hmm?" Deidara questioned, tilting his head to the side.

"Normally, no. But anything is possible in a crack fic," Pein responded gravely. There was another group nod, accompanied by a few shudders. Ah yes, the illogical wonders of a crack fic. Moving along!

"So what do we do about it?" Sasori questioned, snatching back his arm and deftly reattaching it to himself. Konan spoke up, pulling off the black curlers in her cobalt hair as she did so.

"Well, obviously we need to go and see where this portal leads. That way, we can find some way to close it," the single female recited, "Haven't you been keeping up with Fan Fictions?"

Konan retreated into Pein's room, and gestured for the rest of the group to follow. Once they were all inside, she pointed to a massive, swirly, colorful, and overall sparkly blob that hovered over Pein's unmade bed.

"Are you sure the damn thing is safe to go in?" Hidan commented, scrunching up his nose as a pillow was sucked in the portal with a sickening _plop_.

"What's the worst that could happen, un?" Deidara responded, hopping unto the bed confidently.

"Oh I don't know...How about ending in some Jashin-forasken, shitty place with half our limbs missing because they were sucked into another fucking dimension?" the snow-haired male shot back bitterly. By this time, most of the Akatsuki were poised on the mattress, ready to jump into the rift.

"Stop wasting time," Sasori cut in crisply, "We don't have all day. Besides, from the way you're acting, I'd say you're scared."

"Like Hell I am! Fine, fuck-face, let's see who scared!" The Jashinist barked, diving head-first into the rainbow-colored pool of pulsating prettiness. There was silence, and each Akatsuki member was waiting to hear Hidan's screams of pain.

"Hmm, it seems safe," Sasori decided after a few more minutes of minutes. Kakuzu chuckled quietly.

"So that was your plan?" he questioned the red-head. Sasori nodded somberly.

"Of course. I doubt any of us would be dumb enough to jump into a rift in the space-time continuum without knowing if it was safe or not," the puppet explained, "Now, shall we?"

One by one, each Akatsuki member (save for Zetsu, who was on a clean-up mission and hadn't yet returned) took the plunge into the pulsating swirl, disappearing until the room was empty.

* * *

Deidara gasped for air, but there was none in the swirling vortex. Flailing wordlessly, he attempted to swim away before he choked or something. But even though it had been a few minutes, he hadn't yet felt the effect of the lack of air. Of course, he was suspended outside of space and time. What fun.

Maybe Hidan was stuck in another dimension, where he was being attacked by rabid pink fluff-bunnies. Deidara laughed at the thought. Apparently being stuck in an airless vacuum was messing with his mind. But before any other inappropriately stupid thought could float into his mind, there was an unpleasant sensation of being squeezed through a tube, and then a blinding flash of light.

Blinking, the blonde looked around the grassy field he was in, dotted by the occasional tree. The squishy ground he was on quivered and he was pushed off, landing hard on his backside.

Temporarily winded, the artist looked into the chilling red eyes of the Uchiha. Gasping, he crawled back, and saw the rest of the Akatsuki all tangled together in a mass of quivering limbs. Deidara saw Sasori's head sticking out from underneath a pile of un-recognizable limbs and crawled over to it.

"...Danna?"

"...Yes, Deidara?"

"Are you okay, un?"

"...No, Deidara I am not okay."

"Oh. Okay, just checking, un."

Before Sasori could even make a rude comment - lest make a move to attack his partner - a shrill whistle was blown, calling everyone's attention to a lone teenaged girl standing before them all. Her raven hair was suspiciously similar to Sasuke's, but the ends were slightly curled. She looked simply annoyed and glared at all the Akatsuki, her chocolate eyes narrowed into evil little slits. Maybe coming here wasn't such a good idea...

She held a blue clipboard out in a rather threatening gesture, slightly rumpling the black and white, striped shirt she wore. Her expression was not one of anger, but rather impatience and annoyance. Her chocolate eyes scanned the faces of each member, before she huffed in distaste.

"I ask for trained specialists, and _this_ load of crap is what I get, ja?!" she muttered, waving her clipboard rather threateningly. Deidara's eyes - and most of the other member's eyes too - were focused on the wooden-paddle-like-thing she had strapped to her back. Big, bold, black letters read 'YAOI'. It looked dangerous and humiliating, to say the least.

"Well? Aren't you going to do anything, ja?" she asked, once again waving the clipboard at them.

"Excuse me?" Sasori questioned, the usual monotone accompanied by just a hint of incredulity, so that only Deidara actually heard it. The raven-haired girl scrunched up her nose.

"You're _late_, ja! I hired the Akatsuki only because a trusted staff member said you guys were the best! A summer camp doesn't run itself, ya know!"

...Summer...Camp...?

* * *

Wahaha! The most evil story I have ever had the compulsive urge to write! -nyahaha-

So, this is my first attempt at Crack. Why? I can't honestly tell you. Anyway! This is indeed an INTERACTIVE story. How, you ask? Simple!

Now, If you are interested in joining my evil tale, here is what's going down. There will be a total of FIVE cabins. I'm allowing TWENTY people to join up, so that's FOUR people to a cabin. Got it so far? Good!

We need INSTRUCTORS, as in people to teach of sunny camp-goers. Now, who are the camp go-ers? Haha, it is a mix of YOU people and the NARUTO cast. Because I'm just that evil. So, still interested? Good!

If ya wann join, just fill out this here form:

**Name:**

**Age:**

**Gender:**

**Physical Features/Outfit:**

**Any Special Powers? (Keep it reasonable, dammit!)**

**Quirks:**

**"History" (Optional)**

**Crush: (If any) (NOTE! Besides the Akatsuki, there will be other Naruto characters in here)**

**Cabin #**

Now then! If you wanna be an instructor, just stick in what class you want to teach! Make it as normal, dangerous, stupid, or special as you want it! (NOTE! Art class is reserved by Deidara and Sasori. Just 'Cause.)

So far, the free cabins are: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

So submit your characters! Go go go!

And as always, enjoy the story. Muahaha.


	2. Flyers, Anyone?

**Teh Authors Note!** -pops up from mound of Reviews- Holy Jashin! Seven reviews in one day?! Heh, I didn't think responces would come in this fast. Anyway, it's seems my crack-writing juices were at a low when writing this. Don't kill me! Anyway, thank you all who reveiwed! I felt very special indeed. Also, this is a bit shorter than the last chapter, but I PROMISE the next chapter will have more crack. And more of my random notes shall be at the bottom, so you can all read in peace.

**WARNING! **Contains CRACK! Not as much as before, but still CRACK! OOCness and Hilarious stupidity is ensured. NON-YAOI! You have been warned...

**DISCLAIMER! **Sadly, I do not own the Naruto universe, it's character, or it's epic concept. If I did, Sakura would beat Sasuke wil a Yaoi paddle into unconciousness and then proceed to shave his head. I only own a few OCs and not even all of them at that.

* * *

**Chapter 2: "Flyers, Anyone?"**

"Summer camp? _Camp_?! Are you fucking with me?" the Jashinist yelled, somehow detaching himself from the group and walking up to her, "And who the fuck do you think you are?"

The teen girl cringed, as if his foul language disgusted her, "My name is Kazumi. But everyone calls me Kaz, and that includes you, jaa. Also, don't curse around me, got it?"

"Hah! Why don't you try and make me, shit-eater?!"

"I'm warning you..."

"Bah. Not even Kakuzu here could shut me up. So back off, Bit-"

**POW! SMACK! KABLOOEY!**

There was a banshee-like scream, and all of the Akatsuki stared at the wooden-paddle-like-thing which the self-proclaimed Kaz had used to smack the snow-haired male; on his ass of all things. He clung to his backside, almost as if it would fall off any second. And with the way this was going, it could fall any second.

"You little bitch! That hurt like a mother fu-"

**SMACK! **

"Shit! What's wrong with you, you psycho bit-"

**BAM!**

"Mother fu-"

"You know," Sasori cut in before the Jashinist could speak again, "I think she is serious about the no swearing policy. I suggest you listen to her."

Kaz nodded, smiling smugly and placing the paddle back in its sheath, "You make a good point, Sasori. She was right when she said you were the smart one."

"You know my name?" the red-head questioned, also detaching himself (and losing his left arm once more in the process) form the group. Kaz nodded and grinned, waving her clipboard around once more, causing a few of the group to squirm - in case she decided to attack them with that too.

"Sure I do. What kind of a camp director would I be if I didn't know the name of my future employees, jaa?" she said smugly. At this, the pile of Akatsuki seemed to become unstable, and finally fell apart, sending the members to the grassy ground. Kaz scratched the back of her head rather sheepishly.

"Sorry. I haven't _quite_ perfected the portal yet, jaa."

"I take it you're the one who brought us here?" Itachi spoke, being the first to recover from the fall. She nodded eagerly.

"Yep! I believe your leader got the job request a few days ago, jaa?" she looked at Pein - still clad in his bunny slippers - and blinked expectantly. He looked at her blandly.

"I did get a notice last Saturday, but there was nothing about running a..._camp_," he said the last word with a scowl. Kaz grinned again.

"Well of course it wouldn't! You wouldn't have come, jaa!" she laughed, "Anyway, the campers should be arriving shortly, so you guys better...get...ready?"

Her eyes raked over the pajama-clad Akatsuki with disapproval. There was a distinct mumble of, 'The best in the business my ass, jaa.'

"You're lucky, I have some extra clothes in my cabin," she sighed, walking down a small road that nobody seemed to have previously noticed, "C'mon I'll show you guys around the facility, jaa. It's pretty awesome, if I do say so myself, jaa."

"Right," Konan said rather suspiciously, "So what is this about other campers?"

"Oh! I sent out flyers around America, jaa. Or at least...I think that's where it was..." Kaz scratched her head in confusion, "Hmm...I wonder where the flyers ended up, jaa..."

* * *

"Come join us in the most epic adventure of your puny life!" a brown-haired girl read aloud to no one in particular. In her hands she held a neon flyer that advertised for some sort of a summer camp. Tilting her head to the side, the Hanyou girl scratched one of her dog-like ears in thought. She looked up at the little dog - also brown in color - perched on her head comfortably, and spoke.

"Whaddaya think, Ame? Should I sign up?" the girl - who went by the name of Sayuri - asked her faithful pet. The pup stood silent for a moment, as if in thought, and barked happily. Sayuri grinned, revealing two, small fang-like teeth.

"Alrighty then! Watch out summer camp, 'cause here comes Sayuri and Ame!" the girl cried, punching the air with her fist in a further act of excitement. Her brown eyes shine as she looked around the bustling streets of Konoha.

"Where do you think registration is?" she asked her dog. But before Ame could even wag her tail, there was a sickening ripping sound, and the sparkling pool of rainbow-ness appeared before her. If it could speak, the pool would have been laughing madly as it sucked in the two stunned creatures. All Sayuri could do was clutch Ame to her chest as the swirling vortex (the screamed of imminent stupidity) sucked them both in with a loud _squish. _

_Maybe this wasn't such a good idea...?_

* * *

Another boring-as-Hell day in Iwagakure. No missions and everyone else is busy. Hurrah.

The sun shone relentlessly on a blue-haired male as he trudged around his home village of Iwa, making his azure hair seem a paler shade. Shoving his hands into the pocket of his black pants, the male suddenly stopped his destination-less journey as a bright neon flyer on the ground caught his eye. Cocking an eyebrow, he veered off the road and picked it up, silver eyes scanning through it quickly.

**Come join fellow teens in the most exciting adventure of your puny life!**

**We have swimming, kayaking, singing, arts and crafts, plus many more unnecessary camp activities!**

**But who cares about that? For all you daring kids out there, we've got all types of classes from the summoning arts to weaponry handling.**

**Interested? You'd better be!**

**So take a break from your boring life and come join us! **

**We'll be waiting!**

"Summoning? Sounds interesting," the male mused to himself. Looking around the empty streets for final clarification, he nodded to himself.

"It must be better than sitting in this boring place all day. Alright, now where do I sign up?"

As before, there was a booming sound of tearing, followed by the wind kicking up, blowing around random bits of paper. And, like before, the massive blob of sparkliness appeared before the bluenett. He stared at it in distaste, backing away from the substance - which greatly reminded him of melting candy - with both arms raised.

However, the Iwa shinobi (although he did not display his hitai-ate) did not have a chance against the looming blob of doom (Hey, that rhymes!), despite how strong a ninja he may have been. Growling, the male would be _damned _if the thing took him down without a fight. But for all sakes and purposes, Kaz had made her portal a tad _too_ strong. She was going to get campers _one_ way or another, and poor Tsukiyomi Ikuto - Iwagakure jounin-to-be - was a victim of the 'another' method. And so, with just enough time for a defiant scream, the bluenett was sucked into the goopy portal and away to the 'interesting' summer camp.

Maybe it was just a tad _too_ interesting for his tastes...?

* * *

"Am I early...Again?" a female voice echoed throughout the dark and empty classroom. She sighed, rather flustered - if not a bit embarrassed - and sat down at the teacher's desk. Not that she was a teacher (as much as she would love to be one) but sitting there made her feel special. And feeling special is very good, mind you.

"Anni, you did it again," she muttered to herself, brushing a few strands of hair out of her face. She picked at the music sheets before her and sighed, looking at the clock. With a quiet 'Oh' she realized that Daylight Savings Time had come into play and she had forgotten to set her clock forward. So, here Anni sat, with a whole hour of nothingness before her. She huffed, and somehow, somewhere, she knew that Benjamin Franklin was pointing at her and laughing. But, before she could imagine any other famous Americans poking fun at her misfortune, something bright caught Anni's eye.

Reaching out, she picked up a neon flyer and read through it a few times. She blinked.

"Summer camp? I wonder if they have music classes? I could be their teacher!" she cried, excited at the promising prospect. Poor Anni, if only she knew...

It would have been fitting if the infamous portal 'o fun had sang, 'I'm baaaaaack!' But, as portals can't talk - no matter how crazed their intentions - the familiar ripping noise once more sounded throughout the whole room. The wind once again rushed (even though there were no open windows) and scattered numerous papers around. Grabbing her music folder, Anni kicked a chair at the glop of rainbow prettiness.

"You'll never take me alive!" she screamed, brandishing her folder, and prepared to inflict very annoying paper cuts. But Kaz's portal would have none of that. So, with one great gust of wind, Anni also became victim to the sickly goop of shininess.

And all that was left was a few papers floating around, and a very much destroyed classroom. Oh, the poor principal...

* * *

"And this is our swimming pool!" a very much energetic Kaz declared, gesturing to the spacious and very-clean-looking pool of chlorinated water. She was currently ushering the Akatsuki members around the pool's deck, when Hidan decided to pipe up.

"Wow. Bet'cha that water is fucking poisoned," he commented, leaning over the edge to look into the sparkling water. Kakuzu rolled his eyes and counted in his head, _Three...Two...One..._

**KAPOW!**

...

**SPLASH!**

Placing her very much useful Yaoi paddle back in its sheath, Kaz proceeded to look back at the Akatsuki with a bright smile.

"So, any questions, jaa?"

"Umm...Is he going to be alright, hmm?" Deidara commented, snickering and pointing at Hidan, who was currently flailing in the water and creating huge splashes. Kaz walked over to the edge and peered in, scratching her head.

"Hmm, I really don't know, jaa. Oh well, moving along!" she exclaimed cheerily, making up her mind that Hidan was a hopeless case and directing the Akatsuki's attention to the 'State-of the art Diving Board'. However, there was a blinding flash of light, and the rainbow glow of the portal shone throughout the sunny, indoor pool (further ruining Itachi's eye sight, although he dared not admit it). Several loud and painful-sounding splashes were heard. Kaz's head whipped around, and a crazed smile graced her features.

Chocolate eyes shone with what could only be descried as pure, sugar-induced, glee. She threw her arms up in the air, accidentally smacking an unsuspecting Kisame in the face. As he face to the ground, clutching a now-swollen nose, Kaz bounded over to the edge of the pool.

"Do we want to know what just happened...?" Konan inquired, taking a few small steps away from the girl. The teen whipped around, flashing the same crazed smile.

"The campers are here, jaa! Time for you guys to get to work!"

"...Work, un?"

"Do you _want_ to be paddled, mister, jaa?!"

And that single statement was enough to send most of the Akatsuki scrambling to fetch the half-drowning campers form the depths of the pool.

Except for Hidan, who just flailed.

* * *

**"Kaz"**

Wow. That ending failed...Anyway, some explanations are due! Okay, so some of you may have noticed that I didn't make a detailed entry description for all of you guys, which I greatly apologize for. If I wrote it for all seven of you, then this chapter would have been super long and boring. And I needed to get going, so I gave up after three people. Also, for the people who I did write it for, I hope I kept you guys in character! :D

Time for other things now!

So, the title says this is an INTERACTIVE story! Is it really? You bet it is! How? Simple!

I will allow TWENTY people to join up! There are FIVE cabins, so that's FOUR to a cabin. These are the schematics so far (Did I spell that right...? o.o')

**Cabin 1: **Sayuri (moonlightstar12)

**Cabin 2: **Anni - Music Teacher (Sabet), Kimio (insaneoneX)

**Cabin 3: **Shikari Nara (Shikari The welsh ninja)

**Cabin 4: **Ikuto Tsukiyomi - Summoning Arts Teacher (Art Is An Bang)

**Cabin 5: **Kira Nakamura (SomeOtherPerson), Bellatrix (greenpanic6)

Did everyone find themselves? If you're not in here yet, you will be in Chapter 3, trust me! So, for those of us who are too lazy to count, there are SEVEN people currently signed up.

That means there are THIRTEEN spots left. So reserve yours now! How? Just send me this here form:

**Name: **

**Age:**

**Gender: **

**Physical features/outfit:**

**Personality: (Heh, I forgot to put this in before)**

**Special powers: (Be reasonable, dammit!)**

**Quirks: **

**"History":**

**Crush: (If any) **

**Cabin #**

Wanna be an instructor? Why not! Just don't forget to add it in the description! Make you class as normal, random, dangerous, or as absolutely stupid as you want; it's_ your_ class after all!

I'll see you all next chapter, which includes the introduction of the other two crazed instructors! And maybe someone else will get paddled for a change...


	3. Beware The Water Gun

**AUTHOR'S NOTE! **FFFFFFFFFFF. THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY LATE THAT EVEN THESE GIANT CAPITAL LETTERS CANNOT EXPRESS THE ANGER AT MYSELF. Ugh, I am so, so, so, _so_ sorry!! Okay, I feel that I'm done with the apologies. Anyway, since a detailed reason of why this is so freaking late (mainly due to my own laxiness, plus the mound of other stories I have to update) would tkae a million pages, just know that I'm deeply sorry for having last updated two months ago. So, more people are included in this chapter! And I feel this is a long enough Author's Note, so please do read on and enjoy the crack that it took two-plus-months to write up. -nervous laugh-

**WARNING! **Contains CRACK! OOCness and overall/hilarious stupidity is ensued. You've been warned...

**DISCLAIMER! **I - Kaz the Amazing - own hardly anything of this story. Naruto, it's characters, and most OCs do not belong to me.

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**Chapter 3: "Beware the Water-Gun"**

"Did we forget something, jaa?" Kaz mused to herself while kicking certain Akatsuki members into the pool. Her campers had to be saved _someway_, and she sure as Hell wasn't going to have her favorite shirt ruined. Sitting in the Life Guard's seat comfortably, the raven-haired teen watched excitedly as one-by-one, several sputtering teens crawled unto the pool's glossy deck and gasped for breath. Shrugging, and deciding the nagging feeling was just that extra Pixie-Stick she had for breakfast, Kaz lightly hopped off the electric blue chair and walked over to the sopping wet group.

"Hi there, jaa!" she said cheerily, waving her blue clipboard around. Chocolate eyes shone jovially as the teens looked at her. Kaz began to speak once more, but there was a sound of crackling electricity and the single male shot forward at her. She raised an eyebrow at the handful of pure lightning in his right hand, and then sighed. Stepping to the left slightly, she let him fly right past her and into the wall. With a deafening boom, he had broken right through the tile, thus creating a massive hole.

Whistling, she analyzed the damage with an impressed air, "Nice work, Ikuto-kun."

"You know him, too?" Sasori questioned from his post from beside a dripping Deidara. The red-head was, of course, perfectly dry. Wood bloats, ya know.

Kaz grinned again, waving away some of the smoke with her hand, "What kind of camp director would I be if I didn't know my campers, jaa?"

"S-Strange g-g-girl, un," Deidara muttered through chattering teeth. Camp rules: pool must be kept at sixty degrees at all times.

"You!" came a yell, and the mass of broken tile produced a head. Silver eyes glared at Kaz, who looked simply innocent, "What are you playing at?!"

"Excuse me?" she replied innocently, somehow producing a handful of towels and handing them to the rest of the campers, "I don't seem to understand what you're saying Ikuto-kun, jaa..."

"I just came out of a glop of melted candy! And landed into a freezing-cold pool! And now you refer to me as a friend?!" he growled, blue hair sticking up at odd angles from the previous electricity. Kaz just shrugged and turned away from him, throwing cerulean towels at the Akatsuki as well. Hmm...Someone's missing...

"You're the one who signed up for this, jaa," Kaz shrugged one more. The male growled at her attitude and dusted himself off, walking back to the other teens.

"Yeah, so I'm supposed to know that by just _saying_ this place sounded interesting, I was instantly going to be sucked up by a pile of melted crap? Uh-huh, whatever," he huffed, crossing his arms and sending the raven-haired teen a dirty look. She only smiled back, further infuriating him. However, before he could try and kill the cause for the future hilarity of the group, there was a loud splash, followed by even more curses. The Hanyou girl blinked twice and quickly covered her pet's ears. The last thing anyone needed was a corrupted Ame.

"You fuckers forgot about me, dammit!" a very cold and half-drowned Hidan sputtered. Kaz laughed in relief.

"So that's what I forgot, jaa!" she exclaimed, clapping her hands in glee. The other teens sent her a bewildered look, save for one with green highlights in her shoulder-length, brown hair. Instead she pointed a fishnet-clad, and black finger-nailed-finger at the flailing Jashinist.

"I can't fucking swim you little bitch! I'll rip you fucking head off when I get out!" the snow-haired male screamed in fury, violet eyes flashing dangerously. Sayuri tilted her head to the side, watching the drowning male with curiosity.

"Is he rabid?" she inquired, looking at Kaz. She only shrugged in response.

"I honestly don't know, jaa..."

"Stop talking and get me the fuck out! You've ignored me for comedic relief long enough, bitch!!" he screamed, sputtering as water attempted to go down his throat and into his lungs. Kaz sighed, her intentions foiled.

"Fine, fine..." muttering, she deftly walked over to Kisame - still nursing his swollen nose - and pushed him in the water. As a very daring rescue took place, Kaz directed attention to herself again (What an attention whore...).

"Well! I can see you've all found my flyers, jaa? Welcome to Summer Camp!" she cried jovially, throwing her arms up once more and this time hitting Deidara in the face. Ignoring his cry of pain, she smiled at all the teens - minorly creeping most of them out.

"Um, aren't we supposed to introduce ourselves or something...?" a raven haired girl inquired, pushing her rectangular glasses back in place. Kaz stood in though for a second.

"I haven't though of that yet, jaa. Sounds like a plan! To the courtyard, jaa! AWAY!" the over-zealous Kaz yelled.

**One Scene Change Later...**

The group of teens, finally dried off, adjourned in the spacious and sweet-smelling courtyard. A lovely breeze ruffled all their hair, and Kaz finally joined them all, putting back her Yaoi paddle and followed by a limping Hidan - still dripping form the pool. Grinning, she stepped up on a platform which faced all her campers.

"Hello again! Welcome to my Summer Camp, jaa!" she cried out, waving her clipboard around, "Now, someone suggested that we have introductions, since none of you know each other, jaa. How's that sound?"

The group nodded, some saying 'okay', 'sure', and 'why not?' Kaz nodded herself and pointed to a girl at the beginning of the horizontal line, signaling for her to speak first.

"Me? Alright, then. My name's Raya Hyuga and, uh...I'm not really sure how I got here, but so far it looks like fun!" the pre-teen smiled at all her fellow campers, "Um, I'm twelve and a half and -"

"How come your hair's all messed up, hmm?" a certain blonde piped up, joining the group. Raya whirled around, her yellow-green eyes narrowing.

"YOU!" she shouted, jabbing the air with her finger as she pointed at him. Deidara cocked an eyebrow.

"Yeah...Me," he replied, looking confused. This seemed to enrage the girl further, and she unhooked a golden staff from her back, brandishing it threateningly. Deidara stepped back slightly, reminded of Kaz and her paddle.

"You blew up my house!" she yelled, moving her staff into an attack position. Deidara stared at her for a moment, before snapping his fingers in recollection.

"Oh! The little snow chibi, un! Now I remember!" he declared, looking thoughtful. However, this was a bad idea...

Charging at him, Raya began to hit him over the head continuously, chasing him out of the courtyard. Peering over her podium, Kaz merely shrugged and pointed at the next person.

"Hi Danna-chan!" the girl greeted, waving at Kaz. Ignoring Sasori, who looked at the brunette questioningly, Kaz rubbed her eyes, looking closely at the girl and gasped.

"Akira-chan, jaa?!" she exclaimed, running down and glomping the girl. After a chorus of 'OH MY GOD's and 'I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU CAME!'s, the two separated and Kaz dragged Akira to the podium.

"The podium? I feel special!" the brunette exclaimed, running a hand through her messy, short hair, "Hey guys, I'm Akira! By the way, the portal looked quite tasty...Anyway, I came because this camp thing sounded like fun, and I was kind of bored."

Grinning, Kaz declared, "I demand you teach drama class, jaa."

"Why not? Hey, are these all the people, Danna-chan?"

Before anyone could further speak, a bush moved towards the group. Everyone stood silent, watching the bush move closer and closer to them all. A pair of dark sapphire eyes could be seen watching the group. The Sharingan wheel could be seen on the eyes as well.

"Hi there, jaa!" Kaz greeted. A young face popped out of the bush, framed by long, black hair which lay in soft curls. The strange Sharingan eyes looked at everyone, lingering on the Akatsuki for a second longer than the others. The face disappeared, and the bush moved over to Kaz.

"Are you the leader of this group?" a feminine voice asked. Kaz nodded.

"How did I end up in this place? And who are you? Why are they -" she nodded towards the Akatsuki - "Here?"

"You signed up for this, so it's not my problem, jaa. I'm Kaz, short for Kazumi. They are my evil assistants, jaa. In that order," the teen replied. She watched the Sharingan eyes shift suspiciously, before the girl nodded and climbed out of her bush. Joining the others, who watched her curiously, the girl addressed them all.

"I'm Tsukiko. Fourteen years old, and as sneaky as a fox -" the Sharingan eyes shifted again as she stuck her hands in the pocket of her black hoodie, "- So don't try anything funny."

Ten black tails with white tips could be seen swishing back and forth behind her. Kaz waved and pointed to the next person.

"Hey! Name's Shikari Nara age sixteen and...Kakuzu, the worth of my earring is none of your business," she said, narrowing her blue eyes at the self-proclaimed treasurer. Everyone blinked in confusion.

"You can read minds?" the same girl who had suggested the introductions spoke. Shikari nodded.

"Yep. And some other stuff, too." She replied, brushing the brown fringe of hair so that it lay over her left eye. Kaz nodded and pointed to the girl next to her, the one who had suggested the introductions.

"Me? I'm Kira Nakamura -"

"Can I call you L?" Akira spoke, grinning. Kira blinked.

"Why?"

"'Cause of you hair! Looks just like L's" the brunette nodded, her short pixie-like hair waving as she did so.

"Umm...Sure?" Kira answer, fixing her small glasses. Steel-grey eyes looked around at everyone, "Anyway, I'm fifteen and-"

"Can you do anything special?" Akira cut in once more. Kira blinked again at the interruption.

"...Yeah," she answered. Waving her hands, a sheet of paper flew forward in the air. The line of campers were all silent, watching with curiosity as Kira waved her hands again, and the paper folded itself into an elegant bird.

"Ta-da..." she muttered, sending everyone a small smile as the bird whizzed around al their heads. However, before she could do anything else, wild shouts were heard, and Kaz's smile twisted into an insane grin once more.

"Ah! Hold up everybody, the other counselors are coming in, jaa!"

"Other counselors?" Konan muttered disbelievingly towards Pein. His Rinnigan eyes narrowed slightly, and the cobalt-haired female was silent.

"BWAHAHA~!!" a loud, sugar-induced laugh was heard. Everyone looked around wildly, some even getting into an attack position. With Kaz's summer camp, you'd always better be ready for something new...

"UP HERE, SUCKERS!!" the same female voice shouted, and before most could even blink, several long, thin streams of crystalline water shone in the air. They soared gracefully for a moment, but then hit half of the Akatsuki members dead-on in the face. Sasori seemed to be the worse hit, and scowled furiously, wiping his face vigorously with the sleeve of his cloak.

"Muahaha!!" the girl laughed, and finally everyone had the notion to look up. Standing on the roof of not-mentioned building behind Kaz was a brown-haired teen. She was clad in a Foster's Home for Imaginary Friend's shirt, with black capris and Converses. An evil grin was plastered on her face.

"And that everyone, was Mizu, jaa," Kaz waved grandly at the girl, "Don't get on her bad side, or -"

"Brat, you'd better be ready to die!" Sasori hissed, fully dried now. From a scroll, he produced one of his Hitokugutsu, and wasted no time in launching it at Mizu. After all, you don't hit the Akasuna no Sasori with a water gun and live to tell the tale...Most of the time.

"Psh. As if you can hit me!" Mizu laughed at the flame-headed male, ninja-rolling to the side and whipping out her weapon of choice: The **S**quirt **H**andgun of **I**mpending **T**orture. For short, the Sh - Well, this writer doesn't wish to go back on Kaz's no-swearing policy. But you get it. ANYWAY. Moving along to the epic fight scene now!

"Hah! Take this, Stick-Dick!" she cackled, and shot several blips of water at Sasori. He growled, and dodged to the side. However, Mizu appeared before him in an eruption of more sparkling water and manage to drench the poor puppet with a few blasts from the water gun. He fell back, coughing up a storm, and wiping at his face vigorously once more. The obvious winner, Mizu grinned at him and walked next to Kaz.

"Yo, what's up my home-skillet-biscuit?" Mizu greeted.

"Yes, as I was saying. Don't get on her bad side, or the water gun will get you, jaa."

The previously mentioned Shikari raised her hand tentatively. Kaz waved her on.

"Uh, won't the water gun eventually run out?" she asked, tilting her head to the side. Mizu smiled.

"Well, I'm always sure to re-fill it every now and again. But in the case the main tank runs out, I've got a super special BACKPACK RESERVE!! ...See?" The teen twirled around, revealing a backpack type apparatus that was no doubt filled with more of her deadly water.

"Oh. Okay th-"

"BOO!" another shout came. There was an eruption of feathers and Pocky, and another female appeared. She bowed gracefully, letting her long, dark hair fall to the ground. It was styled suspiciously similarly to Itachi's hair...

"'Ello!" she waved, chocolate eyes narrowed in a warm smile, "I am Sasha. And you must be my new victims...I mean students. Ha! What a silly slip of the tongue! Anyway, I shall be one of your teachers, as well as the disciplinary counselor. Kaz will send you to me if you've been bad, and we wouldn't want that..." her expression changed to one of malice, "_Now would we?_"

Several of the campers shook their heads vigorously, as well as certain Akatsuki members.

"Good!" Sasha smiled warmly again, and turned towards Kaz, "Now then. Nii-san...Ah, remember the secret storage room of secret-ness?"

Kaz nodded, expression changing to one of confusion. The campers listened, feeling that what was about to be said next would affect them all vitally.

"Yes. Well, I tried to fix the Chibi-Ray..."

"Did you, jaa?"

"Yes, but there was a _slight _malfunction, and...Well..."

"SUMMER CAMP IS GONNA BE GREAT, 'TTEBAYO!!"

"NARUTO, SHUT UP! YOU'RE SO ANNOYING, CHA!"

At that moment, a hoard of small children ran forward in a huge crowd, knocking down most in their paths and causing general mayhem. Kakuzu could be seen vanishing underneath a number of tiny feet and colorful outfits, while Konan clung to Pein for dearest life.

Kaz, of course, would have none of this. She leaped out, and landed in front of the mass of small children. Grabbing a whistle that was attached to her wrist, she brought it to her lips and blew out three shrill whistles that threatened to burst their eardrums. The mass was silent, and the camp director seethed.

"YOU TURNED THEM INTO CHIBI KIDS, JAA?!"

Oh, heads were going to _**roll**_.

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**KAZ SPEAKS! **YESSSSS. YES. CHIBI NARUTO CAST. Finally! The first arc is here: MISSION: CHIBI INVASION. In which practically all the important Naruto cast is turned into a chibi and set loose in camp. Will they ever return to normal? Who the hell knows?! (Well, technically, as the author, I would. But still. Let's just play along.)

Okay, so now the two other camp directors come in! Mizu and Sasha - just as crazy (if not more so) as Kaz! And for the record, yes they are actually real people. xD Sort of. Anyway, THIRTY THREE REVIEWS. OMG.

I died when I got around to checking this account. xD Thank you all SO SO SO much. I really do hope this chapter satisfies you. Okay, one to the important stuffs~!

**Cabin 1: **Sayuri (moonlightstar12), Tsukiko (KillerLiger3000), Emma (Ninja-Hidden-In-The-Paddocks)

**Cabin 2: **Anni - Music Teacher (Sabet), Kimio (insaneoneX), Peka (Peka The Corsair), Shay (Shaydux)

**Cabin 3: **Shikari Nara (Shikari The welsh ninja), Kayasi (BeyondBirthday18), Raya Hyuga (Raya Hyuga), Celes Auruon (Kendansa)

**Cabin 4: **Ikuto Tsukiyomi - Summoning Arts Teacher (Art Is An Bang), Ayame Uchiha (Number one Itachi fan-girl), Seiasha Stryker (CrimsonBlade11), Yuuko (Falconeyes)

**Cabin 5: **Kira Nakamura (SomeOtherPerson), Bellatrix (greenpanic6), Ranari (Light of the waterfall), Akumaru (Tidus221)

Sadly, if you don't see yourself then...Yeah, It's all filled up. SORRY! I really didn't expect it to be filled in just two chapters -nervous laugh- Well, since I will probably feel bad sooner or later, if you're not in here and have PREVIOUSLY submitted a character, then look out for a magical guest apperance. Yep.

Well, I'm pretty sure that's it. Oh, and everyone caught the name of the water gun, yes? xD Just checking. Alright, I will try to update sometime in the next two weeks. So check back soon~!

And please do leave reviews. I want to know how I'm doing with this. Thanks~! Ciao!


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